The quiet exhaustion of feeling stuck
Feeling stuck in life and career is a strangely universal experience. It’s that quiet sense of being trapped in your own life, even while everything looks fine on the outside. In this Outlaws episode, Shayla and Kate explore why so many smart people end up here and why it isn’t a personal failing.
Why “fine” isn’t fine
This episode began with a message from a listener who was senior, capable and completely stuck. No time to imagine alternatives. No mental space for possibility. And she’s far from alone. Careers, mortgages, kids, aging parents and the cost of starting again can make it feel like there’s no choice but to stay where you are.
The forces that keep you frozen
Getting unstuck isn’t about motivation. It’s both structural and psychological.
Your brain rewards you for sticking with what you’ve invested in. That’s the sunk cost fallacy at work, making the golden handcuffs feel very real. And the devil you know? The brain loves it (as does Kylie Minogue). But feeling trapped doesn’t mean you’re broken. It just means you’re human.
Finding tiny spaces to think again
Before anything shifts, you need space. Not a sabbatical (although that would be nice). Maybe just a sliver of space to start with.
Try:
A 15-minute walk without headphones.
A silent commute.
Putting your phone away in those small in-between moments.
These tiny pauses might soften the frantic pace of modern life. That’s when our imagination can creep back in and getting unstuck starts to feel possible.
Money, confidence and the rules we inherit
Money worries keep many people stuck, but most don’t know what they actually need to earn to live the life they want, rather focussing on earning more and spending what they earn. The backwards budget helps untangle that and gives clarity rather than panic.
Confidence is another trap, especially after career breaks. But other people’s view of your capability is almost always kinder and more accurate than your own. And many of the “rules” we inherit about career progression simply don’t hold up when examined.
Trying something new doesn’t mean burning it all down
We also talk about the fear that change might go wrong. But you can try things, adjust, or leave if a new role isn’t right. You can even return to what you left, often with more clarity and energy (which was Kate’s experience returning to higher ed!).
A shift you can feel
Listeners often say conversations like this help them feel less trapped, more hopeful and more able to imagine change in small, doable steps. If you’ve been feeling stuck in life and career or longing for a path toward getting unstuck, this episode hopefully offers some food for thought.
